Weird Horse Dildos: The Complete Guide

Horse dildos have long taken the reins in the realm of fantasy sex toys. Their unrivalled dimensions and realistic textures and designs inspire imaginations and enflame erotic thoughts. But while all horse dildos are special, the world of weird horse dildos provides is causing quite the stirrup among sex toy enthusiasts. Inspired by equine attributes but with a special twist, weird horse dildos are quickly becoming some of the most popular dildos for solo players, couples and collectors alike.

weird horse dildos

So what is it about these toys that has people so excited? And who can use a weird horse dildo?

In this complete guide to weird horse dildos, we will answer these questions and more to help introduce you to these surreal stallions of sexual sensations. 

What are Weird Horse Dildos?

Like regular horse dildos, weird horse dildos are meticulously crafted to resemble the - ahem - endowment of a stallion. They boast flared heads and veiny details, giant horse ball suction cups to grind on and some even deliver a lifelike cumshot. 

What makes weird horse dildos different, however, is their bizarre, uncanny creativity. The “weird” moniker is a celebration of outlandish design choices that push the boundaries of traditional adult toys. This includes eccentric colour combinations, special features like vibrating capabilities and even mythical horse designs like unicorn horn dildos.

The result is a wild ride of a toy that is as much an exploration of artistic expression as it is a pleasure product. Weird horse dildos aren't just toys; they're conversation starters, collectables, and unapologetic celebrations of individuality and sexual freedom. 

Who Can Use a Weird Horse Dildo?

Perhaps the question should be “Who can’t use a weird horse dildo?” because these amazing sex toys have gained a beautifully diverse fanbase. Weird horse dildo lovers include:

Animal roleplay enthusiasts

Animal roleplay enthusiasts have definitely jumped on the weird horse-drawn bandwagon for the satisfaction of their equine fantasies. If you are a fan of horsey horniness, the lifelike details and textures make weird horse dildos ideal props for taking playtime from a trot to a full-blown gallop.

Size lovers

Size kings and queens, on the other hand, see weird horse dildos as formidable challenges and hole-stretching heroes. They revel in the exhilaration of taming the mighty steed, often aiming for the biggest in the bunch. It's a test of boundaries and an exploration of comfort zones which is not for the faint-hearted (or the unlubricated!)

Solo players

Solo explorers are finding a new companion in these unique toys, a stallion to befriend on their self-exploration journey. The pleasure provided by a weird horse dildo is unmatched by other toys with their sheer size, textured shafts and special features hitting all the right buttons and ticking all the right boxes.

Horny couples 

Weird horse dildos can also bring a dose of novelty and excitement to couples' play, helping to spice up bedroom routines and provide new sexual opportunities. Whether couples are looking to play out an equine fantasy, experiment with DP or reverse roles in the boudoir, a weird horse dildo is a wild card that can turn a regular night into a romping rodeo.

Sex toy collectors

For sex toy collectors, these outlandish toys are the crown jewel of their collection. The sheer variety of colours, sizes, and quirky features makes each weird horse dildo a standalone piece. Like a Damien Hirst creation, weird horse dildos are big, bold and make for a great conversation starter! (although we don’t recommend storing yours in formaldehyde.)

How to Care for Your Weird Horse Dildo

Once you've found your stallion, it's essential to keep it in peak condition. This means using warm water and mild, unscented soap or a specialist toy cleaner to clean your weird horse dildo after each use. Some weird horse dildos may also be dishwasher safe (but make sure you check with the supplier or manufacturer) which can help sterilise your toy. Once it is clean, be sure to let your weird horse dildo dry thoroughly before returning it to its stable. Proper storage is also crucial so keep it in a cool, dry place, where it won’t collect any grime or bacteria.

Final Thoughts

Are you ready to saddle up and take a ride on the wild side? Diving into the world of weird horse dildos might feel like jumping a fence in the Grand National at first but these toys are exciting, unique, all-inclusive fun factories. Whether you're a novice rider or a seasoned jockey, there's a weird horse waiting for you in this whimsical stable.